Levi vs Offspring
by stepintothefantasy
Summary: Despite how scary and intimidating he looks and is, Levi makes a great father...at times. Some cute short (usually) stories about the adventures of Levi and his young son, Noah (OC)
1. How to feed a baby

**Author's notes: **I am assuming this would all be set in an AU or in the modern day, basically just so there aren't titans and Levi's life isn't in danger in every second.

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin.

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**How to feed a baby**

"Oh come on, will you hurry up and eat already you stupid kid," Levi grunted as he watched the little toddler in front of him spit out his food for the umpteenth time. He had been trying to feed his son for the past twenty minutes without success as the child refuses to swallow the mashed up orange gloop. Looking at it though he can see why, it looked slimy and gooey and just vile, but that still wasn't an excuse to not eat it.

Levi sighed and moved his chair closer to the child and began glaring at him with a spoonful of the pulp held in front of its mouth hoping he could mentally get him to eat it. His wife was going to kill him if she came home and found out that their child still hadn't ate, and boy was she scary when she gets mad.

"Noah, for both our sakes please eat!" Levi begged only to be rewarded with a grumpy face from his mini doppelganger. Noah brought up his hand and pointed to Levi who just said "no" as if reading his mind. "I'm not eating your shitty baby food," he said as the child continued pointing at his father.

"Fine! If it will make you eat, then I'll do it," Levi gave a defeated sigh after a while. He took a small spoonful of the food and brought it to his mouth all the while being carefully watched by Noah who had a smile on his chubby little face.

_'I've been beaten by a child, and he isn't even one!'_ Levi cursed and ate the sweet potato mash.

"This stuff's not actually bad," he regretted to inform as he took a bigger spoonful and gave it to the infant, who willingly ate it.

Noah's cooperation didn't last long though; he refused to eat any more until Levi had some and while Levi didn't want to eat any more food made for a nine month old he also didn't have the time to be trying to feed a stubborn child, so the two began to take it in turns to eat.

Levi was in the middle of eating his spoonful when the door opened and his wife walked in.

"Levi, what are you doing?" she asked the man who still had an airplane shaped spoon stuck in his mouth.

"I'm feeding the baby of course!" he retorted keeping his usual calm glare.

"Um, yeah it kind of looks like your feeding yourself," she replied sarcastically trying not to giggle at the adorable scene in front of her.

"Shut up, it was the only way I could get the brat to eat," he continued feeding Noah "and plus it tastes alright," he added quietly.

"Oh really, well I'll be sure to make extra for you as well then shall I?" she came over and kissed him on his cheek before kissing her sons forehead.

"If you want" he faintly replied earning a chuckle from her.


	2. The supermarket run

**Authors notes:** (I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin)

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**The Supermarket run**

Tiny little feet on tiny little legs carrying a tiny little person, resonated on the cold tiled floor as a small figure ran through aisle after aisle in a blur of what looked like a ball of lightning. Oh and Noah was there too, but he was running away from the lightning ball that was chasing after him.

"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID BRAT!" Levi practically growled.

"Noo!" Noah screamed back, running as fast as his little chubby legs could carry him.

What had started off as a quick trip to the supermarket, had turned into a hot pursuit of a hyper, deranged toddler.

'_ALL OF THIS, FOR A FUCKING POTATO!'_ Levi mentally slapped, as he went around the corner sliding into the bread aisle. _'Why didn't I just let him have the damn thing?' _Levi groaned as the shopping trip had been blown way out of proportion when Noah insisted he "needed" a potato friend and was refused.

"You can make friends with the potatoes we have at home!" he was told. But that didn't work. He just got grumpy, kicked Levi's shin, took his keys and sprinted off.

Having chased him down five aisles now the gap between the two had started closing as Levi, the obvious faster runner, managed to catch up to the little runaway- who was going to be in so much trouble.

Levi was just a couple of feet behind him now but noticed that the kid's shoes were undone.

'_This isn't good. The moron's going to fall.' _

And as if on cue, SPLAT!

The child fell flat on his stomach as Levi sighed and slowly walked up to him with the usual blank expression plastered on his face.

Noah quickly sat up; his right cheek had a large red cut on it from where the keys had scraped him, his big grey eyes were clouded with water as tears threatened to spill out.

"Oi kid, don't cry," Levi said as he crouched down to the boy's eye level.

'_And of course that doesn't work' _he thought as the water works started. He picked up the crying child and wiped his nose and eyes with some tissues that he always carried – Levi was just always prepared.

"There there. It's just a little cut it'll be OK," he tried comforting.

"I'm sowwy," cried the child, still sniveling as he clung to his father's shirt and buried his face into his chest.

"It's OK, now stop being such a big baby," Levi quietly said in a soothing voice.

Holding his son in his arms, Levi scanned the aisle for people from the corner of his eyes and once the coast was clear, placed a gentle kiss on the youngster's forehead.

"Alright, come on let's go get some ice cream," Levi said to the sniffling boy who's eyes light up at the mention of 'ice cream'.

Noah made a mental note that day: if you want daddy to get you ice cream, just fall over and cry.

Oh how he was going to abuse this information!

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**I hope you guys like this little new one. Feel free to tell me what you think.**


	3. Learning to fly

**A/N: **hope you enjoy.

Please don't try this at home.

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**Learning to fly**

Why was a three year old tying several balloons to a sleeping Levi, you ask? The same reason he spent all of last week on his father's shoulders pulling and tugging his hair trying to control him and make him cook!

He had watched a movie. And decided that he needed to become a gifted culinary rat who manipulates people using their hair or in this case an old man trying to move his house with hundreds of balloons. But since he had no intention of wanting to move his house he settled for his father, who was looking particularly adorable resting on the garden swing.

Noah had spent the past thirty minutes running in and out of the house getting his mum to blow up balloons before he came sprinting out and tying them to the slumbering midget. She didn't know why he needed twenty-five balloons each attached with their own string; she just assumed Levi and Noah were playing.

Once he had finished attaching as many balloons as possible (or as many as his mother could make before she fainted), Noah climbed up onto his father seating himself on his stomach. When he realised he wasn't moving he starting lightly jumping and pulling at his arms.

"Ugh," Levi groaned as he started waking up. He tried to rub his eyes but found he couldn't move because _**somebody was sitting on him.**_

"Brat what are you doing," he asked groggily.

"I'm making you fly," he replied, a bit too happily.

"What?" Levi was confused and dazed from his nap.

"In Up up they flew with lots of balloons!"

Levi just sighed as he sat up moving his son so that he was sitting in-between his legs. All the balloons that were "attached" to him fell to the ground, creating a huge vomit of colours, cos when a three year old "ties" something, it means "wrap several times until it looks secure".

After inspecting one of the balloons Levi turned to the youngster whose mouth fell open, all that hard work for nothing,

"Noah it's not going to work."

"Huh? Why not?" he sulked

"Because these are filled with air, balloons don't float unless they're filled with helium."

"Ohhh," he moaned.

"Do we have any?" a little ounce of hope filled his eyes.

Levi shook his head as the little boy went back to his state of depression, "I really wanted to fly."

Levi put his hand on top of Noah's head trying to console him and looked around the garden, his eyes almost flashed when the large cherry tree in the corner caught his attention.

"Come on kid, I got an idea," picking him up by the shoulders and putting him on the ground before heading inside to get some equipment.

* * *

"Will you hold still? This isn't going to work if you keep squirming," Levi was getting frustrated; the kid just doesn't stop moving.

"But it tickles," Noah managed to breathe out in between his fit of giggles.

"I don't even want to know!" came a new voice from behind the pair. Levi quickly turned around to see his wife standing there barefoot and covering her face with her hands.

"No you don't," he quickly answered.

She left the two to carry on doing whatever it is that they were doing.

"OK, there all done," Levi said taking a step back to admire his handiwork. He had successfully harnessed Noah to a leaning branch of the tree, leaving enough cord for him to swing; his legs were connected to another cord that was tied to a different branch making it look like he was swimming in the air.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, quickly checking everything was tied properly and the baby harness on Noah's chest was secured "you want me to push you?"

"YES PLEASE!" he screeched with the biggest smile on his face.

"WHEEEEE! Daddy I'm flying," his arms were stretched out in front of him and flapping like crazy as he slowly swung passed Levi, who was slightly smiling may I just add.

"LEVI, YOU'VE GOT A PHONE CALL! IT'S ERWIN!" called his wife from inside the house.

"I'm going to quickly take that. You'll be alright on your own?" he asked the child, who was too happy to even hear a word.

* * *

The phone call lasted longer than Levi thought. How long? Long enough to make him forget about what he was doing before he took it! After it did finish, Levi started cleaning up the mess that Noah had made when he took out all the balloons, and while he was at it he might as well clean the rest of the house he thought.

"Hey, where's Noah?" asked his wife popping her head out of the kitchen, "I haven't seen him in a while."

Levi's eyes shot open. He had been comfortable sitting on the sofa, reading his book and sipping on his tea for quite some time that he completely forgot about the boy who was still dangling from the tree.

"SHIT!"


	4. Thunder and lightning

**Thunder and lightning**

The roar of thunder echoed through the sky in an angry fit of rage. Hordes of dark grey clouds blocked all forms of light from appearing, covering the land in a blanket of darkness and misery. Trees struggled to stay up right as gale force winds sorted the strong from the weak – the ones that would become shredded remnants with just trunks or piles of broken branches.

It was one of the strongest storms that had the privilege of occurring during Levis lifetime and it looked like it would carry on for a while, which meant going outside was out of the question. So he had to be stuck at home, with the brat.

Now, you'd think that children are scared of a little thunder storm and would cower in fear over the sky having an angry meltdown, but not Noah; he reveled in it and laughed in the face of it. This fact made Levi feel the slightest bit proud of his young son knowing that the kid had some courage and nerve. Either that or the child was a complete psycho or a sadist in the making.

Levi, who was lying on his bed, leaning against the headboard and reading some paperwork that Erwin had given him the other day, was struggling to concentrate with the noise of the raging storm outside and the three year old who was giggling his head off. Across the room from the bed was a little boy with his entire body and face pressed against the French windows, muffling giggles against the glass. His already chubby cheeks were squashed looking even chubbier, as he squealed after every clap of thunder or flash of lightning that danced across the sky.

"Woooww that was a huge one!" he yelled at the bright bolt of lightning that illuminated the room.

Levi just rolled his eyes and carried on reading, trying hard to ignore the cackles and laughter that filled the room.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy," the little boy came running up to the bed,

"how do you get lightning?" he asked while trying to climb up onto the bed to sit next to his father.

"Tch!" Levi didn't need this right now, he had to finish these reports or Erwin was going to….. Wait, what was he thinking, Erwin couldn't do shit to him, but anyways Levi couldn't be bothered to explain the build-up of electrical charges in the clouds and the proton and electrons attracting and stuff to a three year old who wouldn't understand it. So he said the first thing that came into his head that Noah would understand.

"When birds fly too close to the sky they get zapped, cos the entire sky is one big bug zapper." He felt no remorse for having lied to the child who was listening to him like his words were gospel.

Noah gasped at this brand new information trying to piece together everything and thinking back to all the birds he's ever seen.

"Where do they go?"

"They just fall to the ground, all burnt and crispy,"

Noah sat quietly in thought at all the poor dead birds, when a loud clap of thunder boomed through the air.

"Daddy, how do you get thunder then?"

Aw this one was going to take some creative imagination to conjure up, but luckily for Levi he was a master of deception and lying from his history as a criminal – which Noah must never learn about.

"…it's a giant… farting"

"Huh. What you mean the giant from Jack and the beanstalk?" his eyes growing bigger and mouth slightly gaping open.

"Yup, that one." _Wow that was a good one_, Levi thought, glad that the kid was helping him make stuff up.

"But why is he farting so much?"

_Urgh. This kid is so frustrating._

"I don't know, maybe Jack fed him some beans or something!" Levi was running out of ideas and was trying to dismiss the child as quickly as possible.

"Whoa," and with that Noah climbed off the bed and went back to the window to look at the sky with his new found knowledge of the world. He laughed every time he heard the rumble of thunder and gasped at the lightning and the poor bird that paid the price for flying too high.

Noah's mother came back into the room having just come out of the shower, to find her boys just as she had left them; one looking out of the window, the other pretending to work on something he claimed was a method of torture from Erwin to slowly and tediously rot his brain.

The storm outside had quieten downed the slightest bit with the last lightning bolt burning in the far distance followed by the thunder.

Noah burst out laughing at this, before turning to his mother to impart his wisdom. "Mummy a giant just farted!" he said, pointing to the sky.

"Baby, what are you talking about?" she asks with furrowed brows.

Levi averts his gaze to his paperwork trying not to seem suspicious.

"Daddy said thunder is the giant farting cos Jacks feeding him beans."

"LEVI, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU!? STOP TEACHING HIM STUPID THINGS!"

_Damn tattletale._


	5. Dinosaurs

Im really sorry for the long wait you guys. I'm really bad with regular updates so don't wait up too long for me.

A MASSIVE BIG THANK YOU to everyone who reads, reviews, favourites and follows. Thank you all soo very much

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**Dinosaurs**

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, Levi and his wife were sitting on the sofa talking when a little person clinging a book that was the same size as their entire torso walked into the room – more like waddled.

"Whatcha got there, buddy?" asked his mother.

Noah silently walked up to his father so that he was staring up at him. Big adoration filled grey eyes met with their original owner's, which were squinted and much too aged for their time, a silent and brief staring competition erupted between them.

Levi watched his child as he silently pushed the massive book onto the sofa and hoisted himself up, softly grunting as he struggled to climb the rest. He managed to roll his tiny body on, bumping onto the back of the seat with a light thud. He scooted over so that he was sat leaning into Levi, who had his legs crossed over each other with both arms extended out on the back of the sofa. Noah dragged the hefty book to himself and looked back up to Levi.

"A book," he finally answered but by this point his mother had completely forgotten her previous question.

"We can see it's a book," Levi said in his usual snarky tone "what are you doing with it?"

"Daddy I want you to read it to me," he asked, pulling his biggest puppy dog eyes. Tch, how could Levi say no to that disgustingly angelic face?

"Fine," he regrettably replied, taking the book from the boy.

"_Everything you need to know about: Dinosaurs." _Levi began reading from the pop-up book waiting several minutes for Noah to stop gawking at it and touching each page before carrying on.

"Daddy, can I get a pet dinosaur?" he asked after Levi read a few pages in.

"No" was his reply.

Noah whimpered slightly,

"Why? I'll be good, I promise," he begged with big dewy eyes.

"No. You're NOT getting a pet, and you're NOT getting a dinosaur." Levi carried on turning the page.

"I don't want any of those filthy animals in my house," he continued, muttering 'having you is enough' quietly for the child to not hear but loud enough to earn a playful nudge from his wife.

"I can clean it," the child whined.

"You can't clean up after yourself, or clean at all, how do expect to look after a dinosaur!" Levi was wondering in what universe he was considering the possibility of Noah owning a colossal prehistoric reptile to even use theoretically in a sentence.

"Aww but daddy, I reaaaally want a dinosaur," he wailed, his face ready to cry any moment.

"You can't have a dinosaur! They're all dead."

"What?!" he cried his mouth falling into the perfect 'O' shape.

Levi turned to face him, "do you _see_ any dinosaurs walking around outside?" Levi asked in a slightly pissed manner.

Noah shook his head saying no

"And why do you think that is!?"

"Cos they're hiding?" Levi pinched the bridge of his nose letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Noah, all the dinosaurs died millions of years ago." His mother informed him,

"They tell you that in the book, honey."

He frantically flipped the pages to the end where the apocalyptic scene of a blazing comet crashing down into the land, engulfing it in flames filled the two page spread.

"So all the dinosaurs are dead?" he sobbed.

His mother regretfully nodded her head, "I'm sorry buddy," taking him into hug in her lap as tears started slowly running down his face.

"I wanted to see a dinosaur," he wailed. Levi rolled his eyes and angrily sighed as the child rode out his tantrum.

After a few minutes of crying and efforts of hushing him by his mother, Noah wiped his nose and looked up at the pair,

"Can we have ice-cream for dinner?" he asked.

"No" they replied in unison.

He struggled free from his mother's arms flustered and irate shouting "I never get what I want!" before grabbing his book.

"No ice cream, no pet, I never get anything!" he cried as he stormed out of the room.

The thick tension in the air was suffocating with both parents sitting in an uncomfortable silence.

"We could get him a fish?" his wife teasingly suggested after a while, making him glare through the parted fingers across his eyes.

"NO"

"They don't need much, just put them in a bowl or something, they'll be fine," she continued.

"Don't." Levi stood up getting ready to leave

"If you get him a pet, I'm divorcing you." She playfully sulked as the man started walking out.

"WHAT ABOUT A ROCK!" she continued yelling as his slowly departing form vanished from her sight.

"NO!"


	6. Doctor's Orders

Hello readers. I am currently in bed with a cold so instead of doing nothing I thought I'd write this for you guys. It's a bit long to be called a drabble but whatever. if there are any errors blame it on the cold. so enjoy

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**Doctors' Orders**

Atchoo!

"Urgh, disgusting," groaned the silver eyed man as he blew his nose into a tissue as hygienically as he could.

"Levi, everybody gets a cold at some point in their lives there's nothing disgusting about it." His wife was sitting at the end of the bed putting on her shoes, trying to concentrate on both buckling the straps and talking to the bed ridden shorty.

"It's just a few germs, nothing that will kill you." She was rewarded will a silent deathly glare from him.

"_Just a few germs!?_ Do you even hear what you're saying," he continued glaring, throwing away his tissue before disinfecting his hands from a dollop of hand sanitizer that sat on his bedside table.

"That's the last time I go near that brat again. Stupid kid giving me his filthy germs," he complained.

"Well good luck with that Levi, I would love to see you try and keep him away from you. You know how much he loves you and wants to be around you." Levi lowered his gaze feeling slightly guilty, he did know how much the kid loved him however none of that mattered right now cos he was covered in germs and bacteria and it was all Noah's fault.

"Every time you're at work all I hear is 'when's daddy coming back, when's daddy coming back?'" this did little to relieve his guilt but he just sighed and went back to being his grumpier than usual self.

"Still, I'm not going near him until he's been sterilised!" he continued to sulk.

The woman put on her coat and walked up to the frowning man, kissing his hot forehead, "you do that Levi".

"Right, I'm off. I'm so sorry I can't stay to look after you, but you have everything you need and Hanji will be here at 9 to take care of you two so you should be fine." She placed a new box of tissues on the table and covered the red nosed man with more of the duvet.

"OK, get plenty of rest and I'll see you later. Mwah bye!" she blew him a kiss as she rushed out the door.

"URGH!"

Levi's entire body ached; he painfully turned his stiff neck over to look at the clock, 6:39 am. He had a good two hours to sleep before all hell breaks loose in the form of Hanji. Drowsiness took over him; he closed his eyes to rid the agonizing pictures of Hanji with all her optimism and joy coming over to look after both him and Noah – who had caught a nasty cold three days ago and passed it on to Levi.

He was woken by soft calls coming from the boy standing by the door.

"Dhaadhy?" he called, the effects of a blocked nose still thick in his voice. He quietly walked into the room and up to the bed.

"Dhadhy are you ill as well?" he asked, lightly tugging on the covers.

Levi gave a hefty low grunt as he rolled onto his back, pain throbbing through his head and neck.

"Go back to sleep," he told the child.

"But Dhadhy I'm not thired." Whether the child was tired or not was of no concern to him right now, his eyelids were heavy with fatigue and as soon as he closed them he fell back to sleep.

* * *

Soft cold hands were touching his face, pressed against his cheek and then to his forehead, it was actually very relieving for his burning body. He opened his eyes to find a head looking over his, a miniature body leaning into his left side.

"Whoa, Dhadhy you're so hot," Noah gasped, lifting up Levi's raven hair to feel his head. Had it been any other day and Levi would have taken that as a compliment and smirked, but not today and not right now, he was in far too much agony. The only sounds that escaped his mouth were deep groans and mumbles, actual words having left his brain hours ago.

"Dhon't worry Dhadhy, I'll take care of you!" he cried as he crawled off the bed and ran away.

_Good riddance._

* * *

Levi was woken again by a loud thud sounding near his head. He looked up to find his son wearing a miniature doctor's lab coat and stethoscope - a gift for his third birthday from Hanji. The thud had been the first aid kit, which came with the uniform, hitting his table when Noah put it down. Levi did nothing but give his most venomous stare, but the child paid no attention to it, smiling happily before running off yet again.

The sound of cupboards opening and closing kept him awake, light patters of feet running around downstairs and rushing back up told him that another visit from the boy was inevitable.

"Dhadhy I got you some juice!" he announced, running up to the man holding out a juice box.

"And some snacks if you're hungry."

When Levi didn't make any attempts to move, Noah took it upon himself to shove the strawed drink into his father's mouth.

"Mummy always gives me juice and says that when you're ill you have to dwink lots to get better. You have to dwink it Dhadhy, otherwise you're gonna sthay ill forever."

He reluctantly sipped, but not because he was told to but because he was kind of thirsty!

After putting down his drink Levi turned in the bed and buried himself under his covers to avoid any more attention and forceful feeding.

The next time he woke, he was comfortably snug, wrapped in his duvet with an additional smaller blue and white striped blanket that he was sure belonged to Noah…

Levi slowly sat up; he definitely had his son's comforter that was for sure.

"What's this?" he mumbled.

"You were shaking Dhadhy so I got you my blanket." Levi turned to the empty side of the bed to find Noah sitting next to him applying plasters all over his arms.

"Are you hungry Dhadhy?" he asked, holding out a cereal bar from the assortment of packaged snacks that surrounded him.

He gently shook his head, suspiciously eyeing the kid, _did he….take care of me..?_

"Hey you guys. I'm sorry I'm late. But don't worry Hanji is here now to take good care of you boys!" the always cheerful voice of Hanji echoed through the house as she burst into the room holding a basket of muffins.

"Oh Levi it looks like you've already got everything," she pouted, slightly disappointed.

_Yeah, I do. Noah must really like me to have done all this. What a good ki-_

"Levi why do you have plasters stuck all over your face?"

_I take it back._


	7. Sleepless Nights

Hello you amazing, awesome readers. i have for you here another short little story. some swearing and implications of ...stuff, so yup.

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**Sleepless Nights**

Sleep does all sorts of things to different people. Too much of it and you wake up with a throbbing headache feeling cranky and dizzy. Too little and you become tired and cranky. Either way you're cranky and easily agitated. When you're Levi – who is constantly cranky and easily agitated, you need to sleep well to not be so ….Levi. But that was not going to happen tonight all thanks to a little devil child who appeared to have a personal vengeance against Levi and his precious sleep.

It was 12:48 am, while the rest of the country was fast asleep, snug in their cosy, comfortable beds; little patters of feet were walking around in the Levi household.

Had Noah eaten half a dozen sweets before he brushed his teeth – yes, yes he may have. Was this keeping him awake? Maybe, who knows?

After sleeping for as long as he could he decided to pay a visit to his dear mother and father, lightly tapping on the door before sneaking in.

"Daddy, are you awake?" he quietly whispered. Of course, Levi being Levi, conscious of any noise late at night (he learnt a lot after Noah was born, that child _never_ stopped crying in the middle of the night) heard the child, grunted "go to sleep" and went back to his rest.

Noah whined and stood there for a while taking in the new world under the cover of darkness. Exploring seemed like a good idea right about now.

First he went to his room, playing with as many toys as he could find or feel in the darkness. Next the bathroom, which was the only room where he could reach the light switch, so several flickers of that fast enough to induce epilepsy attacks everywhere and then he'd be off. Noah was a smart kid, although it may seem hard to believe at times but he was smart enough to know not to play on the stairs in the dark, or go downstairs for that matter. Who knows what monsters lurked down there?

Having conquered most of the rooms upstairs and creating a mess big enough to blow Levi's mind to shreds, next on the circuit was his parent's room. Noah had to admit though; this wasn't as fun as he'd first thought. It was kind of sad, no one was awake to enjoy it with him, but it's not like he wanted to stay up. He felt tired and he wanted to sleep but he just couldn't, everything was either itchy or irritating and just keeping him up. So what was he supposed to do?

….

Levi, who had heard all the light footsteps plodding around the rooms, chose to ignore them hoping that his mantra of "shut up, shut up, shut up" would be enough to stop the maddening child and his antics. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

The door quietly opened, followed by the sound of creaks from the carpeted floor. Rummaging sounds and childish snickers quiet but loud enough to wake the short-tempered man, were driving him insane.

"Oi brat what are you doing!" he hissed.

Said brat, walked up to the corporal's side of the bed rubbing him eyes.

"Daddy, I can't sleep," he sobbed.

Levi massaged his eyelids, "What did I tell you about eating sugar before going to bed," he said in his menacing voice.

The child sniffed and groaned as he rubbed at his eyes. He was obviously agitated and regretting his dietary decisions, getting ready to cry but Levi was is no mood to comfort him – cos that would mean leaving his warm bed.

"Argh just shut up and come here," Levi snapped quickly picking him up and putting him under the covers, right in the middle between himself and Mrs Levi.

Noah playfully chuckled and wriggled in between them to get comfortable.

"Now shut up and go to sleep," the man groaned in his sleep deprived voice. He quickly glanced over to the clock, 2:13 am, mumbled some deep inconspicuous curse and closed his eyes.

"Daddy, why are you and mummy not wearing any clothes?"

It suddenly occurred to Levi that he wasn't tired anymore.

No, fuck it; this was a problem he could deal with another day.

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For all the people that have reviewed and messaged me- hopefully you know who you are. Oh my God. You guys are THE greatest fans a girl could ever ask for. I CANNOT THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH! I am just at a loss for words...tearing up...give me a minute.

...

... 15 minutes later...

...

OK i've calmed down now.

I seriously love you guys, all of you who read my story, just thank you. I'll stop being such a crybaby one of these days, just not today.

THANK YOU ALL XXXX

ps: i have college starting soon so i may not be able to update as regularly, but know that i have ideas..sort of..planned and will try to make them awesome for when i do write them up.

thanks for reading this far and see you soon.


	8. Storyteller

**This is different from the usual drabbles in that 1- its NOT a drabble (over 3,000 words!) 2- it doesnt really have much Levi and Noah. I'm sorry if you guys weren't expecting anything like this, but I just wanted to write something. It's more of a Levi vs family rather than vs offspring chapter.**

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**Storyteller**

From some strange turn of events, Levi found himself sitting on his son's bed preparing him for sleep by tucking in the sprightly youngster, all by himself. His wife was usually the one in charge of bedtimes, and waking him up and dressing him and playing with him and making sure he eats... Now that Levi thought about it, his wife did all of the work when it came to taking care of Noah.

_Damn, I'm actually such a bad parent, aren't I? _ Urgh he could mull on that later, during his 'alone with my thoughts' sessions. For the time being he had to put the usually noisy kid to sleep and get out as soon as humanly possible.

"Daddy?" the child queried, dramatically turning to face his grey eyed father.

"Hmm?"

"Can you tell me a story?"

"No."

"Mummy always tells me a story," he pleaded

Levi stood up, readying to leave, "Well tough luck, she's not here so you'll just have to do without it."

"Pleeeease?" the boy begged. Levi looked down at the child's face. His heart softened a little at the exact mini version of himself – well mini-er. What that kid did to Levi's heart was shameful; he was ruthless just with his very existence, no man or his feelings stood a chance against Noah.

Levi sat back down on the bed, "I don't know any stories, kid," he proclaimed.

"It's OK, you can make it up," reassured the boy.

A loud and long exhale escaped Levi as he scoured his brain in search of a story. He briefly looked back at the child who was grinning, like any child would, waiting eagerly for him to start.

"There…once was a ….knight," Levi started, pausing along the way to conjure up anything he could from what was left of his imagination.

Levi solemnly started his tale, creativity not being his strongest attribute but any cheesy story would do for now.

"He… wasn't a very nice man so people didn't like him and he didn't really like them either. He lived in a small kingdom which was full of mean and cruel people. This knight – hmm what shall I call him…?" he stopped to think, ergh why were names so hard to think of.

"Eric!" Noah blurted out

"Eric?" Levi asked furrowing his brows.

"From the Little Mermaid," the child informed.

Skeptically Levi resumed.

"OK… Eric. Before Eric became a knight he used to steal..

…

_It had been yet another day for the lonesome man, fighting to live in the crowded town that was swarmed with corrupt, filthy people and he was just as bad as any one of them. Every day would be spent trying to steal someone's money, if he was successful the money would feed and house him for a few days at most and if he wasn't, well he would have to starve then. Being a thief obviously garnered him a reputation among the people, and not a favourable one. They would curse at him, run him out of town, and try to abuse him, which is if they could catch him. Luckily for him, he was a fast man capable of outrunning mobs of angry people demanding their money back. 'If people weren't throwing abuse at you today, it wasn't a complete day' that was the motto he now lived by._

_With no friends, no family or a home, Eric found himself returning to the abandoned pile of rubble that was the remainder of a burned down house a few miles away from the busy city centre, that he called his 'temporary home'. He had successfully pick-pocketed four, incredibly fat and extremely wealthy merchants in the market square today. That should be enough to last him a month if he was careful with it, or a couple days if he decided to reward himself. The reward seemed like the sweeter option right now seeing as he hadn't eaten a proper meal for the past week, barely living on the fruit he could swipe from the stalls. A quick trip into town can't hurt too much. _

_Eric put on his hooded cloak and set out after sunset, the thought of real food making him foam at the mouth._

_All the catering stalls will be bustling with people around this time, his two only options were to either wait a few more hours for everyone to clear or go to the dodgy pub/inn at the edge of town. A hub for savage men, thugs and lowlifes, as it was known for. The rumbling from his stomach determined his destination down to the latter option; he could be classed in all three of those categories so that pub was perfect for him anyways._

_He walked in, hopeful that if he stayed quiet nobody would recognise him or beat him half to death - fingers crossed. The dingy place was full of big bulky men clad in black clothes and thick moustaches. Blood stained into most parts of their attire and mud covering the rest. At least Eric had some decency and was clean, the river down by his temporary home being the greatest tool he had, acting as a water source and his bathing area._

_Eric ordered his meal, during the waiting period in which he tried to get accustomed to the rank smell of the place._

_Taking up residence in the only vacant table in the corner of the room, he dug into his meal. Ahh, nourishment, thou art a man's greatest friend. He would admit, it didn't taste great, but it was better than nothing so there'd be no complaints from him today._

_Half way through his meal the door of the inn opened, bringing along the refreshing chill of the night air into the stuffy atmosphere. A young woman walked in, dressed in a beautiful aqua coloured gown, she was smiling and continued to do so even after realising how out of place she seemed. Eric couldn't help but ogle at her; she was so beautiful, fair, bright and happy. Nothing like the women in this kingdom, she must be from a neighbouring country, he concluded. The woman almost skipped to the landlord, ordering a tall glass of water before sighing contently and looking around the joint for a spare seat, the only one being on Eric's table._

_She gladly thanked the man and headed on over to the hooded stranger._

"_Is this seat taken?" He answered her with a shake of his head. She smiled and sat down, tucking her dress under the table to avoid trips. Eric tried not to constantly look up at her as she slowly sipped on her drink, but it was hard._

"_You shouldn't be here," he warned her._

"_Excuse me?" she replied, setting down her glass and leaning closer across the table._

"_It's not safe here, you could get hurt," his words were mumbled by his chewing in between._

"_I'm not staying long. I think I'll be alright for now."_

"_So why are you here," she asked, looking up from staring at her glass, "if this place is so unsafe?"_

_Eric said nothing, merely gesturing to the nearly finished meal in front of him with his hand. The woman laughed lightly, showcasing her abundant smile._

* * *

"_My carriage is outside, if you'd like, my driver could give you a ride home. It's getting very late out and it looks like it will rain," she spoke out after a few minutes of silence._

"_You're an idiot," Eric replied from behind his hood, his faint smile nicely covered by its casting shadow._

_The woman tilted her head in confusion, smiling of course, "I am?" _

_He nodded. "You're offering to give a lift to a man you've barely known for 10 minutes. How do you know I'm not a criminal or something?"_

"_Well I assumed everyone in here is a criminal. But seeing as your sitting here all by yourself, cloaked and hooded, surely that would make you different from them. You're not as bad as them."_

"_Or I could be the worst of them all," he replied back. Why was he so intent on repelling this woman's kindness? "Why else would no one be bothering me? I could be the meanest, cruellest man here."_

_She simply smiled and shook her head, "I don't think you are."_

_Eric looked up to briefly allow the two to share a second of eye contact before a large, calloused and astonishingly hairy hand grabbed onto the woman's shoulder._

"_Hey, how's it going beautiful?" the loud, gruff voice of a troll-like man bellowed in the pairs ears._

_She looked up to the man, cheerfully replying "why hello, it's going fine thank you," before removing his hand off her with her thumb and forefinger._

_Before Eric knew it, a group of men had surrounded the two and were taking turns at harassing the woman in front of him. The close proximity of their bodies to hers was revolting, he could smell the filth on them from where he was sitting, and he could only imagine it would be worse from her point of view._

"_That's a very pretty dress you've got on there," one very vile and foul looking man addressed her_

"_You know what would look better?" he teased. Eric's meal threatened to spill out of his gut at where this sickeningly perverse remark was heading._

"_Um if I had it in maroon?" she happily retorted back._

"_If you didn't have it on at all," the man attempted to seductively whisper back. A loud burst of laughter from all the men filled the room._

_She thought for a little while, scrunching her face a little as if imagining the possibility._

"_No, I think maroon would look better." Eric almost wanted to laugh at the woman's ability to overlook any disgusting comment she received, it was admirable but it had gone on for too long. Anymore and he was sure he'd throw up what was his first decent meal in a week._

"_Alright gentlemen, if you'd kindly like to leave the lady to finish her drink in peace, it would be much appreciated," Eric said in an authoritative tone as he looked up at them._

"_Hey nobody was talking to you so shut up!" one of them replied._

"_Actually, I would appreciate it if you lovely gentlemen didn't waste your time on me, I'm sure you all have drinks and meals to return to," she said as she gave them her sad puppy eyes._

_However the 'gentlemen' did not return, rather stayed and pestered her more giving Eric no choice but to directly raise his voice at them_

"_She said leave her alone, SO GET LOST!"_

_He was quickly rewarded with a choking grip to the throat by the man standing next to him._

"_And why would I wanna do that!" he snarled, removing the hood that covered Eric's face._

"_Well, aren't you the thief what's been going around stealing from all the nobles?" One of them had recognised him._

"_We should hand you over to the king's guard and get us a nice hefty reward. And we could sell beauty over here and make us a fortune."_

_Cheers of agreement came from all the men. But it was short lived when Eric pulled out the dagger he had hidden in his belt loop. He went on to severely cut his attackers hand making the man release him before jumping over the table to grab the blue-dressed woman. The men that surrounded them all unsheathed their weapons ready to attack, each welcomed by the enraged Eric who protectively stood in front of the woman as a shield. Every attacker was easily disarmed by his simple dagger, and each one received several cuts, enough to disable their attempts of striking._

_An all-out pub fight ensued._

_Loud crashes from smashing tables, shattering of glasses and screams from men as they received wounds, alerted the two guardsmen outside the building._

"_Princess!" One of them yelled as he kicked open the door._

"_Oh my God, you guys are always so late when I need you," the woman behind Eric screamed back amongst all the noise._

"_We're so sorry, your Highness. Please forgive us!" they shouted back as they shredded through the mass of men to get to her. Within minutes the crowd had all been disarmed and Eric and the Princess were brought back to safety where Eric was quickly put in handcuffs and arrested._

"_What are you doing?" the Princess yelled._

"_Princess, he's a criminal and he put your life in danger, we have no choice but to arrest him," one of the guards calmly replied as he whipped his sword back into its sheath._

"_He saved my life, which is more than I can say for you guys! Please let him go," she pleaded and begged but to no avail. The guards reminded her that __**she**__ had ordered them to stay outside, so they cannot be held responsible for not coming sooner._

"_Fine, can we at least bring him to our kingdom to face his punishment for 'putting my life at risk'?" She knew fully well that penalties for crime in this kingdom were harsh, cruel and often ending… not nicely. Perhaps her father could do something if this stranger were to be trailed in her country. _

"_He is still a wanted thief of this land, so we cannot take him back until he has paid the price for his crimes."_

"_You guys are so mean! What happened to you? You used to be nice," she sulked before she turned to her surprisingly handsome saviour and thanked him. Apologies for not being able to save him from his impending doom soon followed after. He didn't say anything further to her except shrugged in a 'what can you do' kind of way._

_The night ended with all the known criminals in the inn being put in jail along with Eric. Turns out the princess was right about everyone in there being a criminal; she was also right about Eric, he wasn't as bad as them, he was just a simple thief amongst all the murderers and rapists. Their short time together ended with him being taken away into custody._

* * *

_It was two days later that the two met once again. The princess had come to his prison cell with her guards to release him._

"_I hear your name is Eric, correct?" she sweetly asked once the two were left alone in the prison courtyard._

_He nodded, unsure of how to address royalty._

"_I also hear that you don't have a home and live in burned down old house."_

"_You hear, or you stalked?" he asked, suspiciously eyeing the Princess._

_She laughed and told him of how she had her guards collect information on him and how she managed to bail him out of prison and that she had a suggestion for him._

"_Fight for me." Was all she said._

"Huh?"_  
_

"_My father is the king of my country. He has an elite army protecting his kingdom and an even better military guarding the royal family. I'm positive you can get into any of them with your skills. You'll be given plenty of food, money, a home, everything to make you comfortable. Please would you consider it?"_

_Eric declined the princess's offer, opting to just be taken to her country instead. She happily obliged - anything for the man who threw himself in front of her and acted as a human shield for her protection._

_Once they reached her home, the two parted ways as unlikely acquaintances, one sure that they would never see each other again, the other already planning the opening sentence for when they meet. 'Long time, no see, bud!' was what they schemed._

* * *

_Almost a year later and Eric found himself regrettably joined into the military. He had been caught thieving by the leader of the army, Arthur, who 'persuaded' him into joining after seeing the criminal fight. With his skillset Eric quickly climbed the ranks, earning a knighthood in less than a year, and a reputation as a cold but incredibly talented soldier. It was only when he was stationed to protecting the princess while her guards were away that the two finally met again and when they did she was ecstatic._

"_Well, looky who it is." She may have forgotten the sentence she was planning to use, but this one worked better._

_Eric just smiled to himself, he had kind of missed the woman who turned around his life; it would be an honor to protect her again, officially this time round._

_And so began two months in which Eric was her primary guardian. __During this time period he discovered that he was quite fond of her and she of him. She dearly cared for him and treated him with nothing but kindness and respect, teaching him to soften his harsh personality the slightest bit. Even after their time together ended, they still saw each other on a regular basis around the kingdom. Somewhere along the way the two may have secretly fallen in love and he may have started caring about her enough to want to marry her._

_Yet another year later and Eric finally got the courage to ask the King for his permission to wed._

"_No!" __The King had refused him._

_However, when his darling daughter pleaded with all her heart, telling him how much she loved the Knight and threatening to throw away her crown and title, the King had no choice but to allow the two to wed. It was just something he'd have to get used to, the idea of his daughter being in love with an ex-criminal._

_Eric and the Princess got married that fall in a small and quiet ceremony attended by the King, Queen, the leaders of the different military sectors and a few servants._

_In less than two years' time she would fall pregnant with their child and go through an ordeal that will be the turning point of Eric's life._

* * *

_His entire life he had been cruel to people: stealing them of their money, beating them, being rude to them, but maybe that was all because that's what they did to him. It was only when he met the princess 5 years ago that someone had shown him the slightest bit of kindness, that he had learned good people exist in the world. And now the only person who he has ever loved and loved him back was almost dying trying to birth his child._

_Shrieks and cries were the only noises coming out from behind that door that parted the couple. While he paced frantically in the corridor the rest of the castle was in panic trying to save the mother and child. The woman's body was too frail and just couldn't take the strain of labour, convulsing and writhing in agony as her health slowly deteriorated, every breath drawing her closer to her end. Her unborn child was suffering too with cords woven around it, slowly asphyxiating him and his tender body._

_Eric had done this to her, all that screaming and pain. That was all him. How could he live with himself, knowing this? He couldn't, he just couldn't._

_He sat on one of the chairs placed in the hallway of the castle, violently trembling, bowing his head and clawing at his hair. No amount of comforting could console him now, not from the King not Arthur nor anyone._

_A final ear-splitting shriek and his heart had completely sunk. _

'_She's gone' was all he could think of. He closed his eyes and rested his exhausted face into his palms._

_Silence fell upon the castle..._

_But then the faint sounds of a baby's cry, and his heart leaped out of his chest. He rushed up and headed for his wife's room meeting the disorientated Queen running out crying. He hurried to her side to capture her before she fell in her unstable frame of mind._

_"Oh Eric! They're both fine," she breathed as she wafted her face with her hands._

"_It will take a while for her to get well but for now they're both alive and breathing."_

_That was all he needed to know._

"_Eric, you have a son!" the Queen said between her cries, "and he's so beautiful. He has your eyes."_

_Eric took the Queens hand and kissed the back of it, silently thanking her, "__If he's beautiful then it's only because of your daughter." _

_Everything turned out fine in the end, the Princess got well again within a few months and the little Prince spent most of his time sleeping in his father's arms, being whispered sweet words of love and promises of protection._

"After the Princess fully recovered, the three of them lived happily ever after," Levi sighed as he finished his story.

"Whoa!" Noah gasped.

"I liked that story," the boy said as he looked up to his father, who was now sitting beside him.

"Yeah?" the man replied as he looked down onto his precious child's face, "I liked it too," he added softly.

Levi groaned as he stretched out of the small bed, his limbs aching from sitting still for so long.

"Goodnight Noah," he said as he switched off the child's light.

"Goodnight Daddy."

Levi opened the door to find his wife leaning against the opposite wall.

"That was a nice story, Eric. But as I recall, I was a lot funnier than that," she smiled.

He closed Noah's door behind him and walked over to her.

"Just shut up," he said before capturing her lips in a kiss. "You both damn near died on me, don't ever do that again."

* * *

Thanks to all my reviewers/followers/favouriters and readers - love you guys lots and lots.

Thank you to all you guys who say the most nicest things to me that make me want to run up and hug you:

**Penani19**

**Bellflower's tale**

**HarlequinRinger**

**roYaLAnemone**

**Ocean of My Existence**

**Guest (aka)**

**AnimeForever25**

**akaluv**

**Mark-Kris-Robin**

If anyone has any requests or suggestions for future plots you are more than welcome to tell me, i'll try and have a go at some. other than that happy reading this fanception story...thing.


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